Peter Pan- "To die would be an awfully big adventure."
Now anyone who knows me will just think that is just because i'm a Disney freak, and anything that Walt Disney had to say is pure genius, and yes although he is, that is not the case. This quote just makes me think, surely more than intended from this cartoon movie, but it does none the least. It brings me back to my own thoughts that are constantly repeating in my mind. Probably the biggest battle my heart and head face each day is knowing that you should live each day to your last, knowing that you should live life how you want, and knowing you should take risks, but always being too scared to follow these beliefs with actions. Its strange that although i can believe in this lifestyle 100% and would encourage every single person i have ever met to do so, that it is a constant struggle for me to even be able to follow through myself.
I think everyone fears being rejected and fears failure, its such a shame that other peoples views on myself is the biggest factor that is hindering me from going out there every day and saying everything that is on my mind! Doing anything that every bone in my body wants me to do! Telling the attractive guy in the building down the road about my enormous crush on him the moment i met him, instead of three months later. Styling my hair whatever way i want it without even a thought of what my mom or friends will think. Not getting the half sleeve tattoo i want oh so bad, because of a job i coulda, shoulda, woulda, might have had. Getting up and doing karaoke in front of the entire restaurant, instead of counting down the days till i turn 21 so i can finally have the guts to sing in front of everyone, since at this moment being highly intoxicated is the only way i could not give a crap what anyone thought of me.
Even reminiscing on the few instances that i wish i could've gone with my belief to live every day as if it were your last, upsets me knowing that my fears of what others think is what has held me back. I think dying would be an awfully big adventure. But do you know what would be an even greater one? Living this life you have without fear would be an even bigger adventure. Straying from the safety of solely your thoughts, straying away from your wants of living a quiet, simple life, and taking each and every risk that God puts at your feet, letting your quivering bones and your wandering thoughts guide your actions and truly living this life. Now that would be an awfully big adventure.
That was good, except the whole sleeve tattoo. There is something to be said about weighing out what your life will look after you take that or any chance. The fact is, it will hinder job possibilities, if you want something beautiful draw it and frame it. Living every day as if it was your last is composed of doing what you want and dream of, mixed with the reality of your decisions. Now the karaoke, the boy ,even if disastrous will come and go as quickly as you decide to take the chance. Permanent ink will not. :) love your mom.
ReplyDeleteya ya ya i know mom (:
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